A touch of humor goes a long way in making relationships work, Funny True Quotes about Life & Love are great for bringing a bit of humor. They help to lighten the mood. For this purpose we’ve selected some of the most entertaining quotes those that are not only witty, but also wise conveying some universal truth. In this article we’ve included Best Funny Life Quotes and Sayings, Great True But Funny Love Quotes for Lovers, Inspirational Humorous Quotes on Life, One Line Funny Life Status for WhatsApp & Facebook, Extremely Funny Quotes in English, Funny Positive Quotes and Facts for Girls & Boys, True Jokes on Love for Girlfriend & Boyfriend, Beautiful Hilarious Quotes about Life, Really Funny Quotations for Life by Famous Authors.
Really Funny True Quotes about Life & Love
Real Funny Life Quotes & Status for WhatsApp & FB
“If you can’t convince them, confuse them.”
I love my computer because all my friends live inside it.
“When your dreams turn to dust, it’s time to vacuum.”
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.
“You know the speed of light, so what’s the speed of dark? “
The best way to lie is to tell the truth. . . Carefully edited truth.
Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.
“When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.”
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”
“If our constitution allows us free speech, why are there phone bills?”
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. “
“There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.”
Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
“If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.”
Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day.
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens. ~ Woody Allen
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.”
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. ~ Greg King
“The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order”
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that’s when they’re the hardest to find?
“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”
“The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius. “
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it’s having the phone number of somebody who does!
Life is funny, when you are young you want to be older and those that are older wish to be younger. ~ Karon Waddell
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” ~ Albert Einstein
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
If you read a lot of books, you’re considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well-viewed. ~ Lily Tomlin
“When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here?”
I love everyone! I love to be around some people, I love to stay away from others, and some I’d just love to punch right in the face!
I hate when old people poke you at a wedding and say “you’re next”. So next time I was at a funeral I poked them and said “you’re next”.
“Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination,dishonesty is the second-best policy.”
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. ~ Fred Allen
Short Funny True Love Quotes about Lovers (Girlfriend & Boyfriend)
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. ~ Albert Einstein
You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ~Henny Youngman
Necessity is the mother of inventions and Girlfriend is the mother of necessities.
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you
There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance. ~ Oscar Wilde
The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
“Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren’t any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.” ~ Carroll Bryant